I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it hurts more in the daytime
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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