The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
