did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
