you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
