Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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