Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
