I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
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Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
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So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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