My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
