Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
