Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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