OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
