Ambien. No doubt about it.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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