is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
