An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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