I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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