k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Couch. On fire.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
