He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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