Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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