GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize