There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
