please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
