I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
