i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
