but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize