i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize