Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
