fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
