Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera

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(540): View more from Virginia

LETS GO REDSKINS!

(276): View more from Virginia

Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.

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(650): View more from California

areolas are like halos for boobs.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.

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(714): View more from California

Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset

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(703): View more from Virginia

The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it

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(940): View more from Texas

i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.

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