Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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