I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
