cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
