i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
