Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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