my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
if i can run in heels then i can drive
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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