he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
