you traded sex for a burrito?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
