Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
