Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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