Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
