Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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