nut hugger
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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