I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
