so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
