I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
