I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize