Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
