He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
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The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize