I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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