Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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