hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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