yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
