So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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