You're so nebulous sometimes
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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