she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize