He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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