And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
