'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we made out on top of his cat.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
