hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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