This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
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She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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