don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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