Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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