If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
