All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
