White coat. Heels.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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