I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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