So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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